Good morning. Good afternoon, wherever you are. This is Chris and today we're doing, what's called the anatomy of a coaching session.
A lot of people want to know what really goes on inside a coaching session. How's it structured and how do we move forward?
Too many people who do coaching Deauville will think that coaching is unstructured, but it's not. And I think for those of you who are thinking of involving yourself in coaching, all those who are already in coaching, it's really wise to sort of step back every now and again and say, what is really going on in a coaching session?
Typically, I'll look like I look nice. Now I have a down jacket on, or even though I'm in doors behind my computer, I wear your phones some of the time, depending on the ambient noise, so that I focus completely on the coaching session.
And there may be ambient noise, um, from cars or whatever it is. I'm not in an, in a studio I'm in the real world.
And I try to keep my room open to life so that your coaching session is as close to being interactive as we would be face-to-face as possible.
I'm just turning my head away from the camera for a minute. And looking at the diagram here, uh, coaching that I present has evolved from two things.
I've run, uh, personal workshops, uh, I've run over three and a half thousand of these personal workshops. They were called real spirit.
I ran them through north America, Canada, um, and the U S but if it was also presented them in different countries throughout the world, and these real spirit workshops were three day workshops in which we went deeply into the human, uh, experience of life.
Uh, we looked for wounds and we healed wounds. We looked for destinations and we made sure the path was clear for destinations.
And we gave people sort of a template of how to walk away. And we did a lot of immersion in those three day workshops, which was fantastic.
And I'm very, very proud of the over a million people we, uh, influenced through those workshops. And I say, we, because the work I do is a collaboration with a lot of people who've come forward to help me build out the concept of putting heart and soul into work in life.
Um, what I found, however, over the period of time, one is that the time three-day immersion away from the family was quite intense.
So that was the first thing. Second thing, uh, was that the digital, um, this, the ability to communicate online made it much easier for me to be able to work with people, not in workshops.
And so, and thirdly, there was a privacy issue. Many, many of the people I work with around the world are unknown.
And therefore, uh, the idea of coming into a workshop and blurting your dirty laundry out in front of people or going through process in front of people was unacceptable.
And therefore, I moved towards the idea of bringing the workshop, the three-day workshop into a coaching environment. And that's basically what we do.
Three-day workshop lasts about one year. If we divide up the number of hours, that's in a three-day workshop and the intensity and the, uh, efficiency of working till three o'clock in the morning, as we always did in these three-day workshops and having so much emotion, um, it really constitutes one hour once a week for a year.
And that one hour because of the hour is not pure. There's a start beginning and a start middle and end to the hour of workshop.
And I can't leave people in the state that I would leave them in at a workshop because there's no tomorrow morning, I leave people in a coaching session available for the next coaching session.
And so coaching is a much more integrative process than a workshop, a workshop. You can take people into a very deep place, have them suffering and struggling with their wound, working through it and doing the healing that's necessary, or looking at the future and challenging themselves.
You can take a person to that place cause you know, the next hour they're with you and you're not going to leave a person dangling in their own mess in their home environment.
The other part about this was I used to run corporate programs and corporate programs are spectacular. They're wonderful way for a group of people to get to know each other.
However, there's a great deal of dishonesty in a corporate program because we don't want to blurt our private, uh, life out over into the work environment because it's contaminated.
People might judge us or criticize us, or remember what we did or the wounds that we had last year. They might remember them next year and we really got over them and we'd prefer that they forget them.
So the corporate environment for a workshop is very, um, I, I think it does what it's meant to do, but in terms of personal growth and, uh, digging deep inside the human condition and bringing heart and soul into the workplace, I think in life, I think, uh, they're limited in the scope.
And I think as I said, I think they're a great introduction and you can cover a lot of ground in a corporate workshop, but it can't edge into the holistic nature of being a human being.
And at this point in time, uh, because people just don't want to blurt out their personal laundry all over the company, uh, uh, desk.
So, uh, coaching is the integration of, uh, of this, that coaching is the, is the integration of, Uh, Corporate workshops, ups and personal workshops that I've run for 30 years into a coaching process that asks you to have an open mind for an hour a week.
An open mind doesn't necessarily mean what people think. It's not just I'll accept everything. It's a dialogue. It's a conversation with me at a level of awareness that you really would be not wise to integrate with your partner and then not waste integrate with someone you don't pay, not wise to integrate with a therapist or a corporate person, uh, within your organization.
It's something where you step away and do your own thing and really, uh, explore, uh, and, and, and explore both your inner work what's going on inside you and your outer work, what you're giving and creating in your life and where you want that to go.
So given that all coaching sessions start off with, um, uh, the, the beginning process, which is breaking bread and introduction, where we sort of remember each other and recognize each other and enjoy a few moments of coffee or a few moments of just, hi, how are you?
How's life how's things. And I think it's a respectful of at a human level to begin every coaching session with a, with a period of breaking bread, Heidi, hi, how are you?
What's going on? And I'm really open about what's going on in my personal life. I have no, uh, pretense being some high guru or something.
I'm a person who's failed a lot learned from my failures and delivers what not to do as well as what to do in the process of life.
Try to share my experience. That next part of a coaching program is a session is to ask you what baggage you're carrying, what, what is coming out of your week gone past, or the week ahead that reveals to you that you might be carrying a load.
You might be carrying some stress. You might be carrying some judgments. You might be carrying anxiety, fears, uncertainties. You might be carrying some anger, some frustration.
And this is really important. Part of, of coaching is to make sure that you leave a one hour coaching session free.
Like somebody took off that heavy backpack that you done necessarily will be, will have been carrying up the hill. And it is stress is cumulative.
So we know that if you don't release that backpack, the next piece that comes on might be the piece that breaks your health or breaks your relationship or breaks your back at work or stresses you out and causes you to make an error, which is an unforgettable one.
In other words, people around you or your body will remember. So, uh, unburdening or getting rid of this, uh, luggage or identifying this luggage, you might be carrying.
It's not a criticism as, as much as it is an opportunity to lighten up. And, uh, I will very quickly help you realize where mind is closed, where mind is open, where luggage has been carried and help you identify.
The one thing we know is that the most expensive seminar on earth is a hospital bed and a hospital bed, 99.9% of the time reveals that we could have prevented what's happened.
We could have prevented it. Had we been proactive in our human development. So I really take accountability for being proactive in prevention that doesn't say, I'm a healer.
It doesn't say I'm a doctor. It doesn't say I'm a lawyer or any form of, um, of, um, uh, legal, uh, intrusion into your life.
What I do is I try to through understanding what might you might be carrying release it so that you don't carry things forward unnecessarily.
So that's the first five to 10 minutes of a, of a one hour coaching session. We get to this point at this point, what I'll do is typically do a go round.
I'll ask you how you're going in your career. How are you going financially? And I'll ask you in some form or another, it may not be so structural to score yourself between one and 10 in each of the seven areas of life.
And that's a really important thing because what it does, ultimately, it gives you what's called your VIP score. So your VIP score will be a diagram on this graph, which will demonstrate itself, something like that.
And what we'll acknowledge is that your VIP score in here is the amount of thankfulness you have for life and thankfulness for life is a really important thing because thankfulness and immune system thankfulness and abundance, thankfulness, and success, thankfulness, and a relationship are all integrated.
What we do know, and what we acknowledge in every coaching session is if ever you do get super thankful and you start saying, wow, I'm so clever.
Look at me, I'm way up in the nines and the eights. You will birth a new level of expectation. And that's how the, the outer wealth world works.
If you say, I would love to have a million dollars when you get a million dollars, you'd love to say I'd love to have two.
And if you say I'd love to have so much love in my life with the most beautiful person in the world, when you get, when you get it, you say, now, what can we do with that?
How much more can we have? So we acknowledge the growth rings of a tree, and we don't pretend for one single session.
That section, we don't pretend for one minute, one single session that you will get to a place of complacency or rest, or a lack of frustration.
What we say is you will evolve. You will evolve in all the directions of a life. You will evolve outwards and you'll achieve things.
And you can celebrate those with a bottle of champagne or a party or a holiday or whatever you decide, but that just gives birth to another growth opportunity.
And so on the outer wealth side, this is called outer wealth. On the outer wealth side, we are always dealing with the topic of frustration, frustrated.
These circles, these outer rings are frustrated. And what we'll be helping you do is grow out to a frustra achieve what you would love to achieve set goals, do the things you would love to get in the emotional, mental, physical, spiritual material levels of life, achieve them, and then be ready for the next onslaught of challenge.
The next part about a coaching session is to ask ourselves, and we do this. This is a very big part of a coaching session.
So this might take the, uh, at least half the time working through the next step, working through frustrations that are holding you back, working through anything, emotional, mental, physical, financial, structural corporate, because that's the areas of expertise I have.
I've seven areas of expertise, and that's why we call this holistic coaching. It's called holistic. And it's called holistic because I do cover the seven areas of your life.
If you grow in one area, if, for example, you started to grow in one area of life. Let's just take this back a step.
If you started to grow in one area of life, go back to here. If you grow in financial and you start to say, Chris helped me grow financially.
It's highly likely that you'll start to inject some sort of trouble in one of the other areas of life. If you focus only on coaching here.
So If you, or if you say my relationship business, isn't what I want. And you try to grow your relationship like this and build better and better and better relationships.
It's highly likely that you'll be ignoring some other aspect of your life. And we know the squeaky wheel gets the oil in life.
So if suddenly you grow out your relationship and the squeaky wheel becomes financial, you might even turn your head back to say, oh, now I've got to work on this, and now I've lost this.
Or I've finally got my, uh, business life in order, but my health has gone to crap. And so what we're doing is making sure that you grow holistically.
That's a responsibility I take to make sure that you're growing in all seven areas of life evenly. The next aspect of a coaching session is to just reiterate the idea of where, where you are at your thought level.
Now, everything is thought we manifest things from thinking. And the manifestation process is so critical to a coaching session because you don't want to be fighting against nature.
You don't want to be fighting against yourself. Um, uh, I'd rather have the whole world against me than my own soul, so we don't want to be fighting against stuff.
And so the most important thing is to, to, to check in, do a check-in as to what level of thinking are you in a affirmative state?
Are you in a grateful state? Are you in a negative state? Are you fighting against some folk? Are you dealing with some relationship challenges that might be pulling you down into the bottom end of, of the mental processes and therefore creating sabotage sabotage down here, sabotage gosh, Taj is such an interesting word because what it means is I will pursue something with so much, uh, vigor that I won't, I'll become blinded to the challenges that are, that are welling up behind it.
For example, you might pursue a relationship with so much vigor and pursue love and family health with so much vigor that you could actually be causing your children and partner, um, overwhelmed, or, uh, causing them to run away from you.
And so what we need to do is to make sure that you're not operating in a, got to, should need to even a one, two level of life where sabotage is going to influence about 60% of everything you manifest.
And that hurts to spend 10 years manifesting a beautiful home and a family and cars and kids and buses and trams and holidays.
And only to find out that the vigor of a focus and the vigor of pursuit has actually sabotaged it. It's blindsided you to what really is a holistic home life.
The other part of this is to give you some peace. We grow at the border of chaos and order. And so a lot of the things that happen in our life are meant to happen.
And what we're trying to find, uh, in this area of a coaching session is the order in the chaos. And the there's only one word for this.
And that's wisdom. We're trying to apply universal wisdom to the process of your life. So it really makes sense. And that's gives you great comfort, especially in leadership or in sport challenge, or when you're going for it.
When you really are driving to be the best in your game, on your field or in your life or in your family, sometimes the chaos, you can take it personally.
Sometimes things go wrong. Sometimes the world doesn't operate as you expect it to. Now, if we don't deal with this mental health becomes a topic in your life.
So if we perceive there's more chaos than order in our life, we will start to develop a sense of depression.
We will develop a sense of hopelessness or helplessness, and this is not healthy. If we D if we perceive more order in our life than chaos, it's equally dangerous because we'll become complacent and stagnate.
And so we're what we're doing with coaching is making sure that you stay on this line, which is called the purpose of your life, the center line between order and chaos, between support and challenge we'll then move on.
And this is only 30 minutes of a coaching session transpired so far. We've just cut through, and it's the Zen punch of coaching.
We've cut through the myths and the myriad of things that are filling your brain and helped you release them, unload them, clarify them, see, see intensity within them.
We will check your life balance and make sure it's operating. We'll talk about, uh, re your relationship and how, uh, only 33% of all your vision aspiration and dreams will be shared by a partner and that 66% of your life, and 60%, 66% of their life will be independent to each other in a healthy relationship.
And sometimes we over smother people. Sometimes we over care. Sometimes we give too much trying to prevent pain and suffering in our partner's life, but in doing so, lose our own path and become unattractive.
So this, this piece of the jigsaw really helps to stay in health in our relationships with work and our relationships with a partner.
Now, we're starting to get to the intensity and the beautiful part of a coaching session, because the back on track process, which you will learn in the first 30 days of coaching with me is a daily routine.
And if one of these things is not functioning exactly as you, it was meant to, in other words, if you're not getting good health, if you're not clearing your mind every day, if you're not working on your environment, your personal brand, if you're not on priority, thinking about yourself, respect, and self-worth, if you're not reminding yourself of your vision every day, and if you're not doing your self-talk, something will go wrong.
And so all we're doing, we will go back having gone through all the, uh, previous discussion that we've had. And we'll say which area of life, which area of the back on track process have you forgotten, or which area has become deprioritized.
And the reason I put a shopping cart in the middle of it is because we're very prone to cherry pick.
So for example, if I'm under stress, me personally, I might gravitate to this discard form and start working on it and think, oh, the problem is in my mind, therefore, I'm going to do the discard form, or the problem is in my body.
Therefore, I'm going to do some health healing, but this is a big mistake. We need to be holistic. And when the mind goes pear shaped, when something gets stressed or we get disappointed or frustrated, or we get disillusioned, or we're not motivated, it's because all six steps have not integrated with each other.
What we've done is cherry picked we've gone around and with a shopping cart and said, I'm just going to work on my personal brand this, this year, because that's what's wrong, but it's never one.
It's all, they all connected and they're strongly interconnected. And it's what we call the daily power hour, which takes 30 minutes.
So very often we just drop one of these seven areas of six steps. And in dropping a step, uh, we leave a vacuum and the loop doesn't join.
And therefore we feel off balance. So this back on track keeps us growing at the border of chaos and order.
Now we're ready to talk about in a wealth stairway to heaven. And at this point in a coaching session, we come to what I think is the key ingredient of fulfillment and success and happiness at the top of the mountain.
You see, if we go all the way back here, and we look at this mountain and we look at this mountain here, what we see in this mountain, what we see is that there is low hanging.
There's a life you can live in the bottom of the mountain, delivering goods to base camp. And then there can be aspiration to be on top of the mountain.
But if our process for life is, uh, immature or emotionally driven, or still stuck in some, uh, idealisms, we can be operating in the bottom dreaming of being at the top.
When we go to the, then that so far, the whole coaching session for this 40 minutes, roughly has been on out of outer wealth.
Now we're talking about inner wealth, the inner aspect of life. Now, What do we know about the inner aspect of life?
What's key to it. Number one, no emotion. Number two, no needs. Number three, no wants number four, absolute abundance. And other words at 0.4, let's call it complete.
We'd need nothing. We want nothing. We have everything. This is the End point of 50 years of meditation for a monk in the Himalayas to need nothing, want nothing and have everything.
And therefore be connected, connected to the whole. This is the place where heart and soul kicks in, and we start to develop things like non-local non local communication.
A person who says to me, my family is dysfunctional, is measuring their family by the locality of their family. Those they can see those they know, but the true human family is a global family.
And when you start to get into your inner wealth, where you feel, I want nothing, need nothing, have everything. You start to feel a bigger sense of family and therefore nothing can be taken away from you.
So this, when we go to the seven areas of balance in inner wealth, I'm going to go round for 20 minutes and ask you how you are 10 out of 10 in all seven areas of life.
And if you can't find where you're 10 out of 10, in all seven overs life, I use the universal laws of nature, the universal laws to help you find 10 out of 10, in all seven areas of life, from a human, emotional, outer wealth perspective.
You're not 10 out of 10. They're your goals, ambitions, visions, dreams, understandable from an inner wealth viewpoint. You must be able to achieve the state of 10 out of 10 in all seven areas, areas of life whenever you want.
So I recommend to my clients, five minutes a day, sitting in a coffee shop with a circle and a piece of paper saying, where am I?
10 out of 10 in all seven areas of life. Whereas as a single person who scored themselves, maybe two in relationship, where are they from an outer wealth viewpoint from the realities of life?
I am single, or I am unhappy at marriage, or I am poor that over here, financial there, the realities of life, and we're not going to deny them.
We say they are from a material, which is a sensory perceptive view. There is another view. The moon view the view from the moon.
And when we look from the moon, which is using the universal laws, we can find where nothing's ever missing. It just changes, inform.
If you don't appreciate it, the way that you've got it, you won't get it the way that you want it.
The inner wealth works hand in hand with the outer wealthy, inner wealth is the energy source to build what you want to build on the outside.
It comes from the insight and a coaching session is instrumental in making sure that you learn the art and practice the art.
And once a week, uh, be tested in the art in some form or another with me to find out where you are 10 out of 10 in all seven areas of life.
As I've said before, a monk in the Himalayas will spend 60 years and they will not achieve that state of 10 out of 10, because there'll be waiting for it to come.
They'll be going through traditional old practices, but we have a different way of approaching this much more profound, much more appropriate for a modern day.
And that's a coaching session. And this video has just about taken as long as a coaching session. So please say, hi, I apologize if it's taken longer than you expected, but, uh, I think it's really important to give you the anatomy of a coaching session for one hour and my recommendation to anyone.
Who's planning to achieve things with a sense of heart and soul in it, to engage in a one hour coaching session once a week, and make sure that you stay in balance on track, uh, on goal, but at the same token with a very, very strong sense of self and a sense of completion in your heart and soul.
This is Chris. You have a great day. Bye for now. Yeah.