The most wicked thing I ever did in my life was to choose a goal I didn't care about. I told everyone it was important to me, but it wasn't. I was making it up so people I loved would like me. In the end, when I revealed that I wasn't genuine about that goal, what I feared came neared, the people I loved didn't like me. They would have liked me if I disappointed them and did something I loved and had goals that were real and then suffered to achieve them. It's called respect. Self respect.
One day - a long time ago - I was really down on my luck and I asked a friend for some help. They didn't give me what I asked for and because of that, I found another way out of my challenge. Rescue breeds resentment. Suffering sometimes needs to happen and it's not always the role of parents or friends to eliminate it.
I've been married a few times. The marriages didn't always end in pain. Sometimes the relationship was just not good enough to suffer for, and so it wasn't worth saving.
When we were children, we suffered in our home. Alcohol, violence and stress made things rather difficult but my brother and I never stopped laughing about the funny side. When we found our step mother passed out on the kitchen floor from alcohol, we'd patch her up, turn off the stove and then have a real good giggle. It's a great way to relieve the suffering.
My efforts went into rowing for 10 years of my life and I became quite good at it. But the realisation was that every race was agony, every really solid training was going to hurt. I loved the rowing, the water, the speed and putting myself against other rowers to out fox them. But it never got easier, i just got faster.
I tell my athletes and business clients: "if you can't enjoy it, get out of it." This is because if you're not enjoying it, you'll sabotage it anyway. Either change your mind about it or find a different thing to do. Either way, "enjoy the suffering."
When you hand your boss a problem - hand them two solutions. When you tell someone what's wrong, hand them two solutions. Don't be a seagull, that "flies in shits and eats the chips" - learn and teach how to overcome suffering so the next batch can be caused by something different. It's a great way to keep life interesting.
I'm not a big fan of Christian quotes but sometimes a really wise person extracts a winner. This one is a winner...
If you've ever given up - stopped and walked, decided to go back, it's no big deal as long as you had a reason for turning around other than, "It was too painful" or "it was too stressful" both those excuses will haunt you forever when you eventually realise you were wrong.
This quote speaks for itself....
The reason I like this quote is that it shows us something powerful. Jesus and Buddha, failed. There's more suffering on earth now than there ever was. More pain, more illness, more people, more animals being eaten. So, the idea of religion reducing suffering, is a myth. I actually don't think they really expected to reduce suffering. If we really wanted to reduce suffering we would not have invented corporations and wealth. We'd all be monks.
When we read biographies of great ones, the one single thing that sticks out is, they suffered more for what they wanted. And please don't think suffering is working hard for a big firm with a busy life. No, suffering is when you do what you do, for somebody else.
We meditate to escape pain, we try to eat well to avoid pain. We want money to avoid pain. So, really, if we want to love Jesus do we have to fail at everything like this quote suggests? Is that really what you think?
Find a purpose greater than you.... then suffering isn't suffering, it's called learning.
Great sage advice
And this to finish.
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